Most college students have just graduated from high school or are adults going back to work, but I don't fit into either of these categories. My name is Kaitlyn, and I am only 15 years old. Before taking English 98 at Everett Community College during spring quarter 2009, I was home schooled my whole life. During that time, I learned a lot of grammar rules, but I never had to use them beyond a paragraph or two at a time. The A Beka textbooks I used since I was little taught effectively and they helped me so much as a writer, but once I finished the last book, I still didn't feel like I had completely grasped everything I was supposed to. Now, I needed to go somewhere with those rules, and that was the college. My mom and I decided that I should take Running Start for my junior and senior year of high school, but we weren't sure if I was ready to jump into college writing. So, my parents paid for me to take English 98 from Professor Phebe Shen to help my writing transition from high school to college level.
Especially from the the three major writing assignments I wrote, my writing skills improved a lot in her class. Our Major Writing Assignments (MWAs) were three different types of essays. Each one challenged my ability to write good paragraphs, topic sentences, and thesis statements. They also challenged my ability to make my thoughts in the paper clear. This is an area I have struggled in, but through her comments, my sibling's comments, and my own analysis of my writing, I have improved a lot. I was also helped in this area by reading Three Cups of Tea, which was the book my class read, analyzed, and discussed. After reading a few chapters in the book, my classmates and I were required to pick quotes from the book and explain why we liked them or link them to other quotes. Doing this required me to use my analytical writing skills.
We wrote a lot during the quarter. Essays, journals, sentences, summaries, and blogs are only a few of the writing assignments we were given, but throughout all of them I was required again and again to remember and use the writing rules and skills I had learned from school, and learn new ones. Looking back on the writing I did, I am confident that I am ready to jump into English 101 and running start, and I hope you will to.
As you read through my e-portfolio, you will first find my writer’s choice piece which I have revised to show my writing before and after English 98. Then, I have included my third MWA that exhibits my ability to take an essay through the writing process. Third is my effective writing piece which demonstrates that I can write using good grammar and punctuation. The final piece i a homework assignment that challenged my analytical writing skills. Enjoy your read.
Over the quarter, I wrote 15 journals, short free writes on a chosen topic, and the third one I wrote was titled, “Learning to Write”. Professor Shen asked us to write for ten minutes about how we had learned or not learned to write. After looking at this journal many weeks later, I decided to use it as my writer's choice piece because I did not think my writing accomplishments would be complete with out it. The journal shows where my writing level was before taking English 98, how much I have improved since then, and why certain assignments helped me. When I wrote the journal, I was asked to explain how I had learned to write up to that point. Now, I have added to it to show how I have further developed my writing knowledge throughout English 98. “I think the skills I have gained in developing all three of these [thesis statements, topic sentences, and organized paragraphs] are the most important skills that I will take away from this class because I will use them the most often in the future.” Before entering English 98, I had never heard of a thesis statement so learning how to construct good thesis statements has helped me to really focus and organise my papers into one main idea.
Journal 3: How I learned to Write
Original journal (revised):
I have been learning how to write since I was little, but I had not really started to organize my writing process until recently. Until I reached high school English, I was a horrible writer. I retained few of the grammar rules, and I had to relearn almost everything each school year. Eventually, I got tired of feeling like an idiot and decided that I wanted to learn how to write more effectively, analytically, and skillfully. Once I started caring and trying harder, I found that English wasn't as bad as I had thought it was. The first exercise that helped me was watching the Standard Deviants' videos on grammar. My siblings have also helped me by pointing out bad grammar when I noticed none, and sometimes telling me how it could be written better. Also, writing speeches for 4-H that have to be 5-8 minutes or longer have helped me learn to connect my points and make them flow. Sometimes reading my speech out loud over and over again helped more than reading it, simply because it sounded more awkward to say a line than to read it.
I still don't have much experience writing papers, but I have always loved to read and participate in the Everett Public Library's reading program for as long as I can remember. Through the reading, I have expanded my knowledge and discovered writing styles I felt to be choppy, styles that were descriptive and styles that made the book come to life.
I feel that all of these have helped me as well as what I have learned so far in English 98 and I am excited to see what happens when we start writing our first essay.
Additions during final week of the quarter:
During the first two weeks of class, I wrote my Inventory of Being, my first two summaries, and my first five journals. We also read and did exercises on these statements, paragraph coherence, the writing process, and transitional words. All of these assignments worked together to help me with writing my first essay. To do the essay well, I had to apply all the concepts I had learned to my own writing. This is the real challenge. It is easy enough to correct one or two types of mistake in a homework exercise, but in their own writing, a person has to look for many mistakes at once.
Something that unexpectedly helped my writing were journals. The journals I wrote were ten minute free writing exercises that my professor assigned. At first I was reluctant to do them because I felt they would be a waste of my time and boring. However, I started to enjoy them, and they were not a waste of my time. At first my journals were pretty short or a little off topic and I had quite a few moments of sitting there trying to think of something to write. Eventually, I improved and I was able to write for almost the entire time and stay focused on the subject. I applied this skill when writing my essays by typing in what came to my mind even if it didn't sound right. It was usually good information that, before writing journals, I wouldn't have written down because I couldn't complete my thought about it, but what I did write down from those moments usually made it into my final essays.
The largest challenge I had throughout all three of my essays, was coming up with a good thesis statement, strong supporting topic sentences, and organized paragraphs. I think the skills I have gained in developing all three of these are the most important skills that I will take away from this class because I will use them the most often in the future.
To improve our writing, Professor Shen had us read and listen to many grammatical concepts , rules, and punctuation. One of the main punctuation marks I learned about was the comma. In late April, I was given a homework assignment to practice inserting in the proper places and erasing commas in improper places. When my professor proof read our essays, my main grammar errors involved commas so I chose this assignment to show my improvement in my ability to use commas properly. After reading the required pages, I was able to understand the rules of using commas and I did not get any points taken off of the homework assignment. One of the main rules that confused me before was where to put commas when using quotation marks in a sentence, and I was able to practice in the sentence, “ 'I may be a man of few opinions,' said Henry, 'but I insist that I am neither for nor against apathy. ' ” I properly inserted two commas and know that I was using them correctly.
Steps to Writing Well page 551: exercises A and B
A.
In 1886, temperance leader Harvey Wilcox left Kansas, and he purchased 120 acres near Los Angeles to develop a new town.
Although there were no holly trees growing in that part of California, Mrs. Wilcox named the area Hollywood.
Mrs. Wilcox may have named the place after a home owned by a friend living in Illinois.
During the early years, settlers who shared the Wilcoxes' values moved to the area and banned the recreational drinking of alcoholic beverages, but some alcohol consumption was allowed for medicinal purposes.
Nevertheless by 1910, the first film studio opened its doors inside a tavern; within seven short years, the quiet community started by the Wilcoxes had vanished.
B.
Yes, Hortense, in the 1920s, young women did, indeed, cut their hair, raise their hemlines, dab perfume behind their knees, and dance the Charleston.
In 1873, Cornell University canceled the school's first intercollegiate football game with Michigan when the president announced, “I will not permit 30 men to travel 400 miles merely to agitate a bag of wind.”
Jane Marian, Donna Ann, and Cissy graduated from high school on June 5, 1964, in Texarkana, Texas, in the old Walnut Street Auditorium.
“I may be a man of few opinions,” said Henry, “but I insist that I am neither for nor against apathy.”
Did you know, for instance, that early American settlers once thought the tomato was so poisonous they used the plant only for decoration?
During the first week of the quarter, the class was given homework to analyze five paragraphs and explain how we would develop them better. I chose this piece because I really had to sit down and think about each sentence and analyze whether it was adequate or not. I was able to come to accurate conclusions about each paragraph and show why I made them. This can be seen when I said, “The sentence, “It's a shame something better can't be done for the elderly.” is a weak, false statement. Something can be done, and if the writer feels so strongly about the mistreatment of the elderly, they should write about ways to improve their conditions.” Analyzing these paragraphs was more difficult than analyzing a single sentence so I really spent time on thinking about each paragraph, and as a result, I have started to concentrate more on my own paragraphs to make sure they contain everything a good paragraph should.
Steps to Writing Well page 63: Practice A
1.“Professor Wilson is the best teacher I've ever had. His lectures are interesting, and he's very concerned about his students. He makes the class challenging but not too hard. On tests he doesn't expect more than one can give. I think he's a great teacher.”
The writer's vague expressions such as “interesting”, “not too hard”, and “great teacher” should be replaced with concrete reasons or explained with examples. Saying, “he doesn't expect more than one can give”, is abstract and it would be stronger, for example, to say: On tests, he expects students to study , but he doesn't expect them to know more about the topic than he taught them.
2.“Newspaper advice columns are pretty silly. The problems are generally stupid or unrealistic, and the advice is out of touch with today's world. Too often the columnists just uses the letter to make a smart remark about some pet peeve. The columns could be put to some good uses, but no one tries very hard.”
Examples should be given of times when the advice columns are “unrealistic” or “out of touch”. Also, saying that the columns are “silly” and “stupid” could be offensive to a columnists if he or she were reading the essay. This could make them angry and not want to read the paper so they should be taken out. Another way they could improve the paragraph is by gearing it towards and audience. For example, they could write directly to the columnists telling them ways to improve their advice columns.
3.“Driving tests do not adequately examine a person's driving ability. Usually the person being tested does not have to drive very far. The test does not require the skills that are used in everyday driving situations. Supervisors of driving tests tend to be very lenient.”
The phrase, “the person being tested does not have to drive very far” could be made more specific by saying the person being tested only has to drive 5-6 blocks on their test. In addition, the sentence, “supervisors of driving tests tend to be very lenient” is unspecific and should have an example of leniency with it.
4.“Nursing homes are often sad places. They are frequently located in ugly old buildings unfit for anyone. The people there are lonely and bored. What's more, they're sometimes treated badly by the people who run the homes. It's a shame something better can't be done for the elderly.”
The sentence, “It's a shame something better can't be done for the elderly.” is a weak, false statement. Something can be done, and if the writer feels so strongly about the mistreatment of the elderly, they should write about ways to improve their conditions. Also, the term “ugly old building” could be better worded by saying broken down building because everyone's view of ugly differs. Another way to make the paragraph stronger is to use specific examples of “lonely and bored” and say why the residents feel that way.
5.“There is a big difference between acquaintances and friends. Acquaintances are just people you know slightly, but friends give you some important qualities. For example, they can help you gain self-esteem and confidence just by being close to you. By sharing their friendship, they also help you feel happy about being alive.”
The topic sentence for the paragraph, “There is a big difference between acquaintances and friends.”, is, again, vague and could be better phrased, such as: Acquaintances and friendships are two different levels of relationships. Also, the terms “slightly” and “important qualities” are not descriptive and should define the differences between acquaintances and friends more clearly.
The final piece I chose is the third Major Writing Assignment (MWA) that my class was assigned. Our MWAs were three different types of essays. This one is the final essay we had to write, which was a persuasive paper. My title was “Continue Extending”, and I tried to persuade the reader to believe that the Washington State University extension programs are worth the money spent on them. I chose it to show my growth as a writer because it was the most difficult subject I chose this quarter. It challenged my summarizing skills to explain what the extension programs are and do, and why the college is obligated to support them within 3-4 pages. After writing my second draft of this paper, I felt pretty confident about the flow and clarity, but when some of my family read the paper, and I looked at it again, I found that it was very confusing and jumped around from topic to topic. As a result, I had to rewrite most of the paper and remember the organizational concepts that we learned in class and from our book.
This paper also shows my use of transitions and sentence types. I used a variety of both. It is my best of example of a writing piece that flows when it is read. In the sentence, “Many 4-H members own farm animals, and their knowledge benefits Washington state's agricultural program, but if WSU cuts its extension services, these benefits will be lost.” I used “and” and “but” to create a compound sentence, and by subordinating (adding a subordinate word such as after) “WSU cuts into extension services” with “if”, I emphasized the last clause in the sentence.
Continue Extending
In April 2009, the Washington state budget for 2009 to 2011 was released. Many government funded programs will be downsized by millions of dollars, and state colleges and universities are receiving a seventeen percent cut over the next three years (Means 199-204). The Washington State University (WSU) alone will receive a nineteen percent reduction in their funding (Means 15). For the university, this means higher tuition, layoffs, and fewer enrollments, but it also means a possible twenty percent reduction in the WSU extension program (Durbin A1). When the budget cuts were first proposed in February, many people spoke out against the drastic cuts on extension, which were over fifty percent at that time. Now that the percentage has been reduced, fewer people are worried, but the effects on extension services could still be devastating. While the total amount of money reduced for the whole university is certain, the WSU staff are still responsible for choosing where the money will be taken from. If they choose to cut too much from extension, it may cease to exist. The extension's mission is to "engage people, organizations and communities to advance economic well-being and quality of life by connecting them to the knowledge base of the university and by fostering inquiry, learning, and the application of research” (WSU Extension Strategic Framework 1), and it accomplishes this mainly through reaching out to the youth through 4-H. The money cut from extension programs, especially 4-H, should be minimal to preserve the advantages they provide.
Reducing WSU's extension programs, such as 4-H, deprives generations of future students from the skills and opportunities these programs provide. According to the Colorado State University Extension website, the nationwide 4-H program was founded with the mission “To empower youth to reach their full potential, working and learning in partnership with caring adults.” It accomplishes this in three main ways: teaching them valuable skills specific to the project they are involved in, giving them chances to learn leadership in club offices, and competing on a state or national level with other youth. A few other ways 4-H kids benefit are learning how to keep record books, doing community service, and serving in stewardship at fair. All of these experiences help each kid to grow and mature as a person. Many 4-H alumni believe their 4-H experience opened doors for them that they never thought possible. An article, published in The Daily Herald, by Gale Fiege reads, “Lynette Bikos [who teaches psychology at Seattle Pacific University] credits her career as a professor to the life skills she learned as a kid in 4-H.” One of the reasons that 4-H is so effective is that members learn valuable life skills while doing something they enjoy. Without these opportunities, youth across the state will no longer be as successful or be able to teach the next generation through 4-H.
Many 4-H members own farm animals, and their knowledge benefits Washington state's agricultural program, but if WSU cuts its extension services, these benefits will be lost. Washington's agricultural extension is a useful service to the farming community. On the WSU extension website, anyone can access links with the latest agricultural advice ranging from animal health to weather. In fact, university and college extension services were first created to allow working class citizens who could not afford college to get an education relevant to their occupations (“What is a Land-Grant College?” 1). 4-H helps this mission by training youth in projects such as steer, vet science, dairy, and others. In these projects, youth hone skills pertinent to their farm animals, and kids in animal projects are required to go to a judging workshop each year in order to go to fair. At these workshops, they are tested on many areas of knowledge regarding their animals. After going through the 4-H program, young adults will have vast understanding of their farm animals and be able to apply many lessons in their everyday lives.
Still, some people justify cutting extension services by saying that extension services do not teach the university students, which is the university's purpose, so they should be the first to go if necessary. While teaching the students that pay to go there is the main priority of a university, land grant universities such as Washington State have additional responsibilities. Land grant universities and colleges were first started with the original purpose of “teaching agriculture, military tactics, and the mechanic arts as well as classical studies so that members of the working classes could obtain a liberal, practical education.” This may seem outdated, but the Hatch Act of 1887 was passed to create “agricultural experiment stations” to benefit all state farmers with the latest and best research. The Smith-Lever Act of 1914 requires land grant universities to “disseminate” the latest agricultural information to the public through an extension service. (“What is a Land-Grant College?” 1) These appropriations are still very practical today, and the Washington State University is the only land grant university in Washington. Therefore, it is obligated to continue research and distribute it to the farming communities.
If Washington State University cuts their extension budget by seventeen percent, many people believe that most of the programs offered by extension will have to close down. 4-H is one of the most widely known extension programs, and the effects of losing this program would be vast. Youth across the state will lose early training and experiences. Current farmers will also be effected by the reduction of money spent towards the “agricultural experiment station.” These people and others who benefit from extension are strongly urging that these services stay funded enough to continue their work in the community.
Works Cited
Colorado State University Extension 3 April. 2009.
Colorado State University 19 May. 2009.
Durbin, Kathie. "WSU budget cuts will hit Vancouver campus.” Columbian 2 May 2009: A.1
Washington State Newsstand. ProQuest. Everett Community College Library, Everett, WA. 19 May. 2009. http://www.proquest.com/
Fiege, Gale. "4-H funding from WSU in doubt :Facing a grim budget, WSU may slash funding for county extension programs.." The Herald 28 Feb. 2009.
Washington State Newsstand. ProQuest. Everett Community College Library,
Everett, WA. 19 May. 2009. http://www.proquest.com/
Final 2009-11 Biennial Operating Budget. 25 April. 2009. Senate Ways and Means Committee 19 May. 2009.
Mills, Joe. "WSU's Floyd sees 'havoc' ahead: Legislature's recent budget cut proposals could result in loss of more than 400 jobs at university." McClatchy - Tribune Business News 1 April 2009. ProQuest Newsstand. ProQuest. Everett Community College Library, Everett, WA. 20 May. 2009. http://www.proquest.com/
Statewide Summary & Agency Detail. 7 May. 2009. Senate Ways and Means Committee. 19 May. 2009. http://www.leg.wa.gov/documents/Senate/SCS/WM/SwmWebsite/ SenateBudget/2009/ConferenceCmte/09-11FinalHighlightsDraft4.pdf
“Washington State University Extension Strategic Framework 2006-2011”. 14 December. 2006. Washington State University. 5 June. 2009. ext.wsu.edu/Wemis/pdf/WSUExtensionStrategicFramework2006-2011.pdf
“What is a Land-Grant college?”. 24 February. 2009. Washington State University. 19 May. 2009. http://ext.wsu.edu/overview.html
I would like to thank my classmates, my friends, my siblings, my parents, and my God for helping me become what I am and achieve where I am today. Thank you for reading my e-portfolio. I hope you believe your time was well spent.